hard core dharma

The voice in my head: Where to start?
Answer: Start where you are.
I'm taking the audio version of Hardcore Dharma at The Interdependence Project. Which works for me because I just don't have a free evening. Each week I download an MP3, keep up with the readings, and try to soak up as much as I can. Not being in the room makes a big difference.
It's difficult not to multi-task while listening to the audio. But that's one of the points of this. To make a commitment not to multi-task. And it's astonishing to realize how much I am multi-tasking all the time. Although to be honest, what I've noticed more than my multi-tasking, is how much I rush through things in order to get to the next.
This morning was the first morning I had all to myself, without any need to rush to the office, so I was able to sit for longer than the 10 minure minimum. And what a difference that makes. Walking across 28th Street to the subway, my mind wasn't so filled with chatter, and my eyes and ears were resting more comfortably in the sights and sounds along the way.
The last several weeks have felt like the city's been screaming at me. Not a moment of quiet or peace. Even the 4th of July, 3 day weekend at home felt unrestful.
But now, the hum of the air conditioner in the office sounds like a white noise lullaby.
My breathing is steady and deep.
I fell back to 10 minute sessions in an attempt to stick to the 7 day meditation vow each week. 10 minutes is easy to do no matter how little time you have. But having the opportunity to sit for my more normal half hour is so much more fruitful.
Yet, one of the interesting things I've picked up in this course is something I know so well in karate, and seem to forget too easily in everything else. Consistency is key. And every sit is different. No need to judge. The most important part is showing up.
The fact that my 10 minute sits were not restful isn't a reflection so much of the medititation time, but of what life has been feeling like.
This morning's half hour, leisurely meditation reflected on the actual time and space I was in. An empty apartment, no pressing appointments, no pressure.
May your day be filled with the Magic Medicine of time to sit and to breathe.