This morning as I wake early, from a night of deep chest coughing and the worst cold I've had in what seems like years, it occurs to me that being sick is an inititation.
In shamanic cultures, the initiate is transformed by near death experiences, the tearing of flesh, fevers, physical and psychological trauma. If we can give ourselves the gift of withdrawing from the world for the few days when we too are feverish, in the grips of coughing fits and body aches, we give ourselves time to heal physical wounds as well as psychological ones. And what we've come down with may give us a link to the universe within.
It's no coincidence that I came down with this cold as I was leaving Omega - a touchstone for me each year. It gave me a chance to transition with grace. Normally I would have sped back into the city and stepped right back into the whirling dervish dance of my life there. I would have met with dear friends and celebrated my birthday with delicious food and wine. I would have woken this morning with a hangover.
Instead, I spent the day on my front porch wrapped in blankets, reading, painting and dreaming. And waking fitfully to new visions.
Each year at Omega the veil between real and imaginal life becomes filmier, more shrouded in mists. Last year I remember having trouble dropping into heightened experiences, but every moment of waking life was absolutely shamanic. This year, real life - a pending job interview, doctor's appointment, an unpaid bill - made clear counterpoints to shamanic, psychic, yogic and creative experiences. At every turn I was holding both in my hands and my heart.
I am learning to hold neither too lightly or too tightly. To slip seamlessly between the two, back and forth, back and forth again.
Robert Moss' The Three "Only" Things, Tapping the Power of Dreams, Coincidence and Imagination is a pathway.
I'm still in the throes of coughing and congestion, but the body weary weight and crying jags of a little girl who just doesn't feel well have lifted. Today I'll have the energy to unpack the car, put clothes and art supplies in their place, and make way for the days and weeks ahead.
May your life be filled with Magic Medicine.
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