My 2008 - Life

My life in 2008 - if minus what I did for Medicine and Magic as I previously mentioned, there are really not much left=p Just to note a few significant things (in chronological order):1. I finally completed my collection of Feel 100% comics. Believe it or not, it took me 16 years to do so!;)2. I wrote on how much I like Stephen Chow. Hehe. He's really a great inspiration!3. My new car was hit by

My 2008 - Medicine

A recollection of what I went through in 2008.The first 3 months I did my JMOship in Surgical posting. It's such a nice posting. I also got to know what are the criteria to make up a perfect surgical HO, and something about UTI prevention ;)After surgical, I went to Paediatric department. Had some deep thoughts about the slow-learners that I saw in clinic, and was quite upset for a couple who

My 2008 - Magic & Performances

Let's do a summary of what have I done in this year - my magic & performances. I think it's more "happening" in the first half of this year, as I was quite busy preparing for exam after that.The 1st show of the year - Apex Group annual dinner night. James the event organizer, called us "very marketable magicians" ha. It was a good start;)The next was Rotary Club Anniversary dinner. The club

Last Days in A&E

It's year end and I'm leaving the Emergency Department. Informed by my hosp director that I'll be transferred to Medical department starting Jan 09.If you remember my story, I initially applied for medical while finishing my JMOship and due to medical was full, I was put in A&E "temporarily" till there is vacancy (for details you can read this).And this wait has been 6 months! Much more than I

gratitudes

The office is empty. I don't think I'm the only one here but it feels like it. And I love that. The few people who were here yesterday thought I was nuts for coming in today. But it feels so good to be somewhere quiet, without anyone asking anything of me. Not even a conversation. Just time to myself. It's like studio time when I've had it. Total freedom. It feels like when I was a kid and everyone left the house and I was home alone. Beautiful solitude. I am always grateful for it. And for so much more.
This year has been one of shifts, sea changes and small steps.
I am so grateful for my closest girlfriends Mimi, Sanae and Gay. They are always there. And always in my heart.
I feel like the luckiest girl alive to have a job I love at a time of financial chaos. I am trying my best to share my good fortune more than usual this year. It's just makes me feel good.
A few times recently, I've noticed that someone didn't charge me for something (milk at the grocery store, a dress at the thrift store, a single pocket buddha among 7 others) but rather than go back and return it - which is just a huge pain in the butt in terms of schedule and location - I just donate more than its value to a charity. It feels like the right thing to do.
I am so grateful for Larry this year. He still yells at drivers, and people who take up too much of the sidewalk. But by taking the time to notice what he's grateful for each day, he is so much more fun to be around. And that makes me more fun to be around. It's that simple.
I'm also grateful for my mother's lightness of spirit. When the power went out at their house a few weeks ago, my parents spent the night at ours, and I have to admit I was just a bit disappointed when their power came back on.
I've got a zillion more gratitudes. This just my start.
May your day be filled with the Magic Medicine of memorable moments and deep gratitude.

No Room for Ignorance!

I'm sure most of you read the article on The Star - "No room for ignorance in hospital wards" by a Seremban doc, I think he/she has made a few good points. Just to extract a few,"How do you call yourself a doctor when you do not even know how to perform CPR? Most importantly, one must work with a conscience. Yes, they are allowed to make mistakes, but never at the expense of the patient’s life

Interesting ECG (3)

Since some of the students were kinda confused about how WPW (Wolff-Parkinson-White) syndrome ECG looks like - so coincidentally I just came across one last night!Looking at the above ECG, delta waves (the slurred upstroke) can be seen in every beats, broadening the ventricular complex as well as shortening the PR interval. Very typical!Also read:Interesting ECG (2)Interesting ECG (1)

Bad Assumptions

Bad assumption #1A Bangladeshi man walked in accompanied by a Malay woman.After the consultation,Dr spoke to the woman, "Alright you can settle the bill over the counter there. Are you his employer?"Woman: "I'm his WIFE."Dr: "(oops..)"Really Bad assumption #2A middle-aged uncle walked in with a baby, accompanied by a 20+ young lady.Dr greets the man, "Hello uncle, this must be your grandson? So

"Floating Elbow"

Fracture above and below the elbow joint - making it like a "floating" joint.The feeling that you get while examining it can be quite scary!

Bomoh's Sorrow

Saw this 60 year-old man in ER early morning, who alleged was knocked by a cow's horn at left sided chest.On examination by doing a gentle chest spring, the crepitus can be clearly felt. So I told the man that he's likely to have sustained rib fracture.His response was of kinda dramatic one.He actually turned angry, "Doc, how sure are you that I'm having fracture? *pats on his chest a few times*

Interesting ECG (2)

Saw this ECG in ER.It belongs to a lady who has underlying bronchial asthma, presented with palpitation.Took me reaaaally some times to figure it out.Irregular rhythm with variable PR interval, tachycardia...what do you think it is?*The leads are well connected for the ECG so there's no cunning magic here^^Related post:Interesting ECG (1)

Magician's Getting Tricked?

Saw this young man in ER. Suspected to have Dengue fever due to the abnormal FBC result.Me: "Hi, how many days have you been having the fever?"Pt: "Day 3 of fever."Me: "Ok...did you notice any bleeding from gum?"Pt: "No, no bleeding tendency. Actually, you can ask me in medical terms. I'm a medical student."Me: "Oh great! Sure. You having any SOB?"Pt: "Pardon? S.O. what?"Me: "Oh sorry...I mean

Interesting Case! (2)

Saw this patient in ER. Think it's interesting to share.A 84 year-old man was pushed in for progressively worsening dyspnea. According to his daughter, he only has history of gastritis. The dyspnea has been there for 1 week, but he denies any chest pain. There is history of reduced effort tolerance but not much of orthopnea or any ankle swelling. Upon further questioning, the daughter told that

A Beautiful Mind (2)

Ya. The unlucky me again.Saw this patient who came in the midnight."Hello uncle, any problem?""Hmm. My problem is, I don't even know what's my problem!"(*swallowed saliva* I know I'm in trouble, deep one)"You see, I always feel like I have fever but actually I don't.""I like to put one hot towel on my forehead, but if you ask me whether I have headache, actually not really. Why is it like that ah

Goodbye, Old Friend

He's gone.My good old friend who has accompanied me since my first year as a medical student...a good 7 years of friendship.He has never failed to be my best working partner...and I've always tried my best to maintain it at good condition. I dare to say that its function is still as good as new!But I was shocked that he gave up yesterday. After a while of thinking, I think I found out the

Picture Quiz (2)

Ya time for picture quiz again! Let's look at the following ECG:Ques: Please give a spot diagnosis.Hint: It might not be an ordinary diagnosis!^^(Answer's in comment)Related post:Picture Quiz (1)

creativity and play

My sister Pam sent me this link this morning. Find a half hour and watch it. In 5 minute increments if you have to. TED has lots of inspiring talks, this is just one: http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/tim_brown_on_creativity_and_play.html

May your day be filled with the magic medicine of play.

Couple Jokes (4)

#1GF: "Dear, after we're married, will you quit smoking?"BF: "Yes..."GF: "Will you quit alcohol?"BF: "Yes..."GF: "Will you quit clubbing too?"BF: "Yes.."GF: "So good..anything else that you'll quit?"BF: "I think I'm quitting the thought of getting married..."#2Wife: "Dear, pls tell me honestly that do I look pretty?"Husband: "Yes you surely do."Wife gets satisfied and walked away happily.After 10

Smoke & Mirrors 2nd Edition

"Illustrated by renowned artist Si Scott, the Smoke & Mirrors playing cards were developed by Dan and Dave Buck. Dan and Dave spent over eight months working with Si on the design, with the goal being to create a deck that is elegant, refined, and modern.Interest in the decks has been unrivaled since word first emerged of their existence. All of the artwork was illustrated by hand in pen and ink.

"Good"...News to A&E?

First of all, let me tell you about one "interesting" conversation. Happened on 1st day of Hari Raya.Busy in A&E. And my colleague (Dr.S) has got a call from surgical ward (by Dr.A).Dr A: "Hi is this Dr.S?"Dr S: "Yes speaking?"Dr A: "I have just seen a case admitted by you, a man with ribs fracture?"Dr S: "Yes I admitted him. Anything?"Dr A: "Actually why did you admit him? Are you sure that he's

Couple Jokes (3)

Saw these from a mail that dear forwarded to me. Found it really funny so just thought of sharing it;)#1A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.A successful woman is one who can find such a man.#2To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and

Exhaustion Crisis!

OMG..things are never predictable. A shocking news to every MOs in A&E - one of our colleagues who went to KL attending a course, had a fall and sustained forearm fracture. So she's gonna be on leave for 4-6 weeks till recovery.As we were already in a condition of acute-on-chronic exhaustion, now this basically has further worsened our shortage, leading to a condition called acute exhaustion

My Article is in Newsletter!

Thanks to Tiffany, the Editor of the UCSI's newletter for the invitation, that I'd have the chance to share my article on her university's newsletter (issue Nov-Dec 08).I've read through the newsletter and I think it's really a nicely done work. Good job to Tiffany and her team!=) My article. Modified from my post "What exactly is Housemanship?".Hope the students will like it ;)Indeed I'm so glad

Why These were Missed?

I've seen a few cases over the last week and I really have some thoughts to share:Case 1A 70 year-old man complained of progressive abdominal distension and went to a hospital. He was told to have "angin" in the abdomen and was discharged with Syr MMT (antacid).Case 2A 8 year-old boy complained of "abdominal discomfort". He was told to have "gastritis" and was discharged with Syr MMT, too.Case 3A

beyond inspiration

I'm in complete awe of Karen Dolmanisth's work. It inspires me. It touches me. It's the kind of work I wish I were doing. If only I had the vision, the clarity, the devotion to practice that she does.
I met Karen a few years ago at the Exit Art performance exhibition praying project we were both participating in. I immediately connected with her collection of natural and found objects, the ritualistic prayerful way in which she interacted with them and her reverence for process.
So how do we, as artists, respectfully riff on the work of others, allowing ourselves to be inspired to greater depths in our own work without plagarizing the work that ignites our imagination?
It's an interesting issue. I've talked with writers about this too.
It's easy to feel we own certain phrases. But Google them and you find you're not the only one.
Concepts themselves, exclusive of execution aren't covered under copyright laws.
So what do you think? Have you had the experience of feeling that some has ripped you off? Or would you feel honored? Do you knock off others in your work. What is the line you can't cross? What lines does your conscience create that hold you back?
It's a rich area for exploration.
May your days be filled with the Magic Medicine of teachers, mentors, gurus and guides.
Get your daily dose of Magic Medicine in book form, here.

a link to sharon salzberg

a beautiful post by one of america's leading buddhist teachers.

A Special On-call: Bodyguard Experience

I'm back from a special mission, sort of. Ha. I was on-call two days back, and it turned out to be an unsual one. Got an order from my department head that, a VVIP is coming to Taiping to visit and he requested a medical team to standby throughout his trip, and ya, I'm the MO who's going!It's a rather new experience to me. In fact, it's less stressful than what I thought. Basically what I need to

Acute-on-chronic Exhaustion!

Red alarm.I'm (actually every MO in A&E) having some really tough times now. Currently Emergency department is having shortage of MOs and the condition is further worsened after one of my colleagues has got her transferring letter which is effective immediately, and one went into labour and subsequently maternal leave. So there are now only few MOs left, and the craziest thing is, now we even

Dance with Crutches?

I sorta came across this on Youtube and I was deeply captivated (make sure you watch till it finishes):A long "Wooow"? I initially thought this is just so cool and the guy must be a genius. But I had one thing to ask, as most of the ppl would, that "Does he really need the crutches?" Then I read a little more about him at his website. Then I was stunned.Bill Shannon, aka the "Crutch Master", has

Just Another Jonah Call

Just finished my 3 consecutive night shifts..tiring! And one of the nights was particularly jonah. Well, let the pictures tell the stories.A 66 year-old man with no known comorbids, with history of fever for a week, presented with severe SOB. The ABG showed severe metabolic acidosis - pH 7 with Bicarb of 4! The ECG:The typical ECG of "Tall tented T waves, widened QRS, small P". What's in your

My New Magic Video!

Ya..finally! My new magic vid after the last one which was shot in 06..before my housemanship actually ha. Took this in the Starbucks at Gardens. This vid is a compilation of some of my new ideas in flourishy card revelations, plus two of my favourite card effects "Twisting the Aces" and "Bizarre twist". Very classical tricks, and have been included in my signature performance routine all these

Master Close-up Magician

Jean-Pierre Vallarino, one of the greatest world-class close-up magicians, with his famous routine. His elegant way of handling the cards are definitely the smoothest of all that I've seen. Enjoy the clip of his classical act!;)This is a clip that I filmed in 2005, during my first ever major show, the KENT event. That last part when I did my card revelations, it's actually a combination of what I

Doctors - The Most Difficult Patients?

I'm wondering if you agree with this statement? Well, through what I've seen or heard, I think I now do agree with it. I've encountered:#1A doc who smokes and with cigarette's smell whenever he speaks. And he tells, "You know, it's very difficult to quit this. Easier said than done."#2A doc who's diagnosed leukemia and get frustrated and refused all chemoradiotherapy. Finally he said, "You know,

baby steps giant leaps

I've been going to a life drawing class in Kingston on Saturdays. And I've got to say it's a revelation. With a few quick tips from my friend David McKee I achieved a whole new perspective - and I mean that literally. My first 20 minute drawing was elongated and out of perspective. My 2nd was amazingly proportioned and balanced.
I'm still like a kid when it comes to creative pursuits. I honestly love everything I do. I get so excited by the process and the results. I'm without filter. There is no bad. No judgement. And that's what I really hope to share in my workshops, and now as a creativity coach.
Our culture is way too filled with criticism and comment. We don't leave anyone alone long enough to simply express themselves. One of the greatest gifts for me was something Krishna Das said during a workshop or maybe it was a kirtan: "God doesn't care if you can carry a tune." And I would say doesn't care if you color within the lines either. Or even if your line is straight, or in perspective.
The thing is, if we don't draw the line and take the risk to draw it, we can't get better at drawing. And that's true with everything we do.
But you know that. I know that. But still we get afraid or busy with laundry and full of excuses for not creating. Or singing. Or playing.
It's funny. I wasn't looking for a drawing class. I went because I wanted to support a friend. And I can't tell you how many excuses I made even while driving to give myself an easy out. I had car trouble, and even turned around once and went home before turning back around and making my way across the bridge, stopping every 5 miles or so when the engine light came on.
But the simple magic of sitting still for an hour and drawing the human figure is extraordinary. Quiet, intense, magnificent.
How can we find small ways to support our creative selves for just an hour or 2 a week? Or 5 minutes a day?
That's all it takes.
May the Magic Medicine of a new perspective open your eyes and your heart.

Intrigued? Bored? Indifferent? Drop me a line and let me know how you feel about Magic Medicine. Want more? You can buy Magic Medicine: Rx for Creativity, here. Or drop me a line at modernsacred@yahoo.com

Project Magic - Therapeutic Magic

David Copperfield, the greatest man in the magic history. I look up to him not only because of his astounding achievement in magic, but he has such a great mind to develop the use of magic in a therapeutic way, which is what I'm going to share about today."Project Magic" is a program designed by David Copperfield, to give the gift of magic to people with various physical, psycho-social and

Signs of Anemia?

A group of medical students are having a bedside teaching session with Prof. (MO and HO just happened to be doing work at the table nearby)Prof: "In a patient that we suspect to have anemia, what clinical signs do we look for?"A: "Cyanosis."Prof: "Very good (sarcastically)..you can get out from the ward now. Make sure you prepare adequately before you come to my class again."B: "(shivering voice)

lost luggage, lost years, found treasures - a long post

I spent most of the weekend waiting, and worrying about Larry's lost luggage. Only because he had to be back on a plane to Dallas Sunday afternoon, and we needed to do his laundry. The airline wouldn't deliver to our town, so we spent most of the day playing phone tag with the airline and the courier service trying to figure out when it might arrive at my parents home, a few towns over, and within their delivery zone.
I have to say, it was lesson in staying calm, present and human. You want to scream, but you know the voice on the other end of the phone has people getting nasty with them all day long. What's the point? The luggage doesn't get found any faster. And I am holding in my heart, an idea that was offered at the recent Yom Kippur retreat I attended at New York Insight Meditation: "do you want to be the kind of person who makes people anxious, angry, upset, or calm, peaceful and free from suffering?"
I want to be the kind of person who puts others at ease, including myself. So every time I found my stomach in knots and my voice just about to raise, I relaxed a bit. And someday, with enough practice, perhaps I'll skip the knot wrenching stage altogether. Even in airports. Even with lost luggage.
But it's my nature to get nervous, excited, a little on edge with just the slightest provocation, which is why I meditate, chant, knit, study karate and and do everything I possibly can to act "as if" I were more peaceful at heart.
Nobody wants lost luggage, but long lost friends are another story. A room mate from college found me on Facebook a month or so ago. I ran into two sisters from high school the other day while walking through the West Village, and just last week, my college boyfriend dropped me an email and we caught up quickly by phone.
I took a look through the college yearbook only to discover that I remembered almost no one. But what's struck me most is a sweet, sad sensation that is so tender and touching, I almost hate to let it go. I walked around for a day with tears in my eyes, and while indulging in a little thrift store therapy, had to buy myself a stuffed animal in addition to the usual armload of clothes.
It's kind of crazy: life changes us completely and yet it doesn't change us at all.
And that's the found treasure.
May your day be filled with the Magic Medicine of the peace of mind and happy heart of the child you once were and will always be.

There's a really entertaining digression on lost time on TED. Click on the John Hodgman image/link.

Frank's Sign

I think once you know this sign, you'll love looking for it.Frank's sign is a diagonal crease in the lobule of the auricle, as shown in the pic, which was a patient that I came across yesterday. (To be more specific, it's Grade 3 Frank's sign)"The sensitivity of Frank's sign reaches 75%, its specificity 57.5% and its positive predicting value 80.3%. The prevalence of Frank's sign increases

Couple Jokes (2)

#1Wife: "Dear, tonight I feel like sleeping with the light on. Is it ok?"Husband: "Oh..hmm can but..."Wife: "But what? You'll be uncomfortable with it?"Husband: "Well it should be fine, as long as you keep your make-up on..."#2Wife standing in front of the mirror.Wife: "Oh dear, I think I look old, fat and ugly. Can you just give me some compliments?"Husband: "Oh sure. Well, at least your

Randomz (2)

Well..just a post of random stuffs again;)Got my MRCP formal result today, attached with the analysis of answered items by specialty. To my good surprise, the best fields I did are cardiology (future dream..), endocrinology (ok..) and geriatric medicine (quite surprised), which are scored 100% correct. Followed by clinical science (so my magic medicine formula can work?), nephrology and

boost your creativity

As some of you know, I’ve been working towards a certification in Creativity Coaching. The model I’m working with – Kaizen Muse - is particularly effective in dealing with overwhelm, procrastination, perfectionism and discipline.
One of the requirements is a practical, and I am looking for 2 clients to coach for 4 weeks each.
Because I’m not yet certified, I am offering the 4 session package at a greatly reduced rate of $100. That’s just $25 per session. A real steal. Once I’m certified, that rate is going to jump to over $100 per session, as I am interested in working with highly motivated individuals who are passionately committed to their creative lives. (I'll be offering coaching as seva (service) but these sessions will be reserved for those in need.)
Can I trouble you to forward this link to anyone you think might be interested?
Thanks very much for your help. I really appreciate it!
If you have any questions, feel free to email me, or give me a ring at 917 747 8990.
I’ve outlined a few FAQ below which may be of interest.

How is Creativity Coaching different from Life Coaching?
Kaizen Muse Creativity Coaching focuses on creative desires, pursuits, projects vs. life/work goals. That being said, one might have a goal to live more creatively in every aspect of life – and creativity coaching can help with that.
What is Kaizen Muse?
Kaizen Muse is a coaching model created by Jill Badonsky, MS and Dr. Robert Mauer, based on a productivity model that comes to us by way of Japan . It is based on the premise that small incremental steps can help us make progress and overcome the hurdles that slow us down and even stop us in our tracks.

How long is each session?
KM sessions are 30 to 45 minutes each.

Where?
KM sessions are done over the phone. I will provide a phone number for you to call into. Sessions are recorded with your permission.

What can I expect of a session?
The first session you can expect to talk quite a bit about where you are in your creative life so that I can get an overview. Together we’ll identify what the next 3 sessions might focus on. In each subsequent session we identify what struggles you may be having, but more importantly will focus on what works for you.


What can I expect of a 4 session series?
In the course of just 4 sessions, you can expect to get a clear picture of how you can make small steps that will have lasting and cumulative impact on your creativity, specific creative projects and the way you see yourself as a creative being.

Why might I want Creativity Coaching?
Kaizen Muse can really help you get started and make progress on any dream you may have on the back burner. A book you’ve always wanted to write. A project you’ve been thinking about for months – even years, and just can’t seem to get to. We focus on things that have a creative slant, but really, there’s little that can’t be considered creative.

What Creativity Coaching isn’t…?
It’s not therapy. While issues certainly come up in relation to why we don’t get to our creative longings, Creativity Coaching focuses on sure fire ways to get to the work that speaks to your heart, one small step at a time. It doesn’t dwell on the past, but rather focuses on the present, so that you can move creatively into the future with a foundation for sustainable success.

Magic Medicine Formula (3)

3rd part: Time for microbiology!Always confused by various types of bacteria & viruses? Well, not anymore!=)You only need some codes..Gram Positive cocci - SSES - StaphylococciS - StreptococciE - EnterococciGram Negative cocci - MNM - MoraxellaN - Neisseria (N.meningitidis & N.gonorrhea)Gram Positive baccilli (rods) - ABCD.LNA - ActinomycesB - Bacillus anthracisC - Clostridium groupD -

Magic Medicine Formula (2)

Ok..now we come to the 2nd part. Well, MRCP really likes to ask about genetic diseases and mode of inheritance. It'll be a waste if you do not master this part, but to memorize all that is obviously not an easy task.A general rule is, Autosomal dominant conditions are mostly with "structural/ phenotypical" abnormalities; whereas autosomal recessive conditions are with "metabolic" disorders.A list

Magic Medicine Formula (1)

Hi dear friends, time to share my studying tips. Well, to relate magic with medicine, hmm I would say that learning magic has definitely improved my memory. However, I think to study medicine, such a profound and broad field with countless facts and terminology involved, mere memory might not be adequate. Then I found a very useful tool, it's definitely not something new, which are "mnemonics".

Preparing for MRCP?

Ok since there are quite some questions on how did I prepare for my Part 1, hmm probably I'll just show you what have I got for my preparation:






The top and the bottom form the essentials. Many seniors told me that the minimum requirement is to finish Oxford handbook and K&C Clinical Medicine..cover to cover. To be honest, it's true. Painstaking and time-consuming but, this is what MRCP is

How Sick Can One's Mind Be?

Today's the first day of Hari Raya.The workload's almost doubled. Taiping town is flooded with so many ppl who come back to hometown. Most common cases? Congestive cardiac failure who drank too much fluid, uncontrolled diabetes, road traffic accidents etc.But one case was really really unexpected.A rape case. A 6 year-old girl went to her neighbour's open house. She was brought by her neighbour

YEAH I Passed!

Dear all,I'd really like to share a good news with you that my MRCP Part 1 result was just released. I PASSED! *jumping up & down*MRCP (Membership of the Royal College of Physicians) exams are the 3-part exams to get specialized in Internal Medicine. Well, I'm just one step nearer to my dream now=)Big thanks to everyone who has wished me, all your wishes really, really encouraged me a lot!What a

HO, MO and Specialist (2)

Case 1During ward round. MO's talking to an elderly patient rather loudly.MO: "Uncle, what medications are you taking?!"Specialist: "Hey, is that the way you're supposed to talk to pt? Must ask politely la." Turned to patient, "Hello uncle, may I know what medications are you taking?"Pt: "Huh?"Specialist: "Sorry uncle, I was asking what medications are you taking?"Pt: "Huh?"Specialist: "(raised

Interesting Case!

Early morning at 8am, a patient was pushed into red zone. A 60 year-old man, no known comorbids, has history of fever and vomiting for 1 day, then noted became unconscious this morning. GCS upon arrival was only 3/15. Very limited history available. Family members claimed he has no history of recent travelling/ river swimming/ jungle trekking.Clinically, his BP was lowish, having high grade temp,

"Ada-ada" Syndrome (2)

Ok now we've gone through the definition of it, maybe we can share some tips on diagnosing it. And bear in mind that this syndrome is most commonly seen on Saturday morning (coz can get a 2-day MC for good weekends off) and Sunday night (feeling lazy to go back to work after enjoyed weekends).From what I observed, most common "excuses" are headache, abdominal pain with diarrhea, low back pain,

The "Ada-ada" Syndrome

Ya, another newly-defined syndrome. To diagnose this, you need to learn some key phrases:

"ada-ada" means "got got"
"Kadang-kala" means "sometimes"
"Sikit-sikit" means "a little bit".

A typical conversation will be like this:

Dr: "So you said you've been feeling giddy these 2 days..any headache?"
Pt: "Ada."

Dr: "Severe throbbing kinda pain?"
Pt: "Ada-ada."

Dr: "Ok..what about fever?"
Pt: "

Are You Sure This is "Love"?

"KATE MOSS’s little girl loves the smell of petrol fumes, says mum — who’s been partial to a sniff herself over the years.Kate said that when she fills up she has to leave the car door open so Lila Grace, five, can catch a whiff.Kate has just released new fragrance Velvet Hour and said of her daughter’s habit: 'I’ve heard it is one of the most preferred scents in the world — maybe that’s

long or short?

I'm short.
My hair is long.
So I guess I don't just agree that we live in a world where both long and short can co-exist. I live it.
But every time I go to read a blog, and can't get past the 2nd or 3rd paragraph, I wonder. Is my attention span just severely compromised? Am I not interested in the content?
Or, more to the point: Why can't bloggers figure out how to get their point across faster, and go on and on and on after they've made it. So I can get what I came for, and those who want more info can hang in there for the nitty gritty.
I know the answer: these guys, and gals subscribe to the ole direct mail precepts. It's sales copy. It's written and designed to drive you further and further in.
But they lose me every time. I mean it. Every single time.
I don't really have time to read through these posts.
I blog, and read blogs because I want an instant hit of information, inspiration or sometimes just entertainment.
That's why I keep my posts short. In the hopes that I won't lose you.
May your day be filled with the Magic Medicine of quirky blogs that get to the point fast.

Just as a disclaimer: I'm not talking about story line blogs, where the authors are reflecting personally, and you might expect a longer post. And in fact are interested.

losing things that come back to you

So in addition to his brain change, Larry's been leaving things behind, in airports, and restaurants on the road. And they keep coming back to him, for the most part, in synchronicities like this: he happened to leave his card with one of the stewards on a flight to San Jose, which he left his reading glasses on. The guy called him to say he'd found them, and is on that flight back and forth almost daily. He'll hold onto them and Larry can probably get them back on his flight back to New York.
He left his wallet on the plane the week before, and couldn't figure out why he kept hearing his name on the P.A. system, as he hadn't yet discovered he'd left it behind. So when the stewardess handed it to him at the gate he returned to, he was more than a little shocked.
Luck? I don't think so. I think with his change of heart and mind, the universe is taking care of him. Bringing things small and large back to him. Including me.
I can't tell you what a delight it is now to talk with him on the phone and get positive upbeat emails throughout. For a million reasons I feel like the luckiest girl on the planet.
May your day be filled with the Magic Medicine of synchronicities and surprises large and small.

gratitudes

So Larry came home from DC the other night and announced he was doing gratitudes every morning. Turns out he saw a PBS special on the brain and learned that the brain is telling us lies most of the time. I've been trying to explain this to him for years, but who cares how he got it, he finally got it! And he's been just the sweetest man in the world ever since.
Okay, it's only been a weekend, and he flew out to San Jose yesterday, so it will be another week before I see him again. But those nightly phone calls will be a little litmus test.
Truth is, he's on an airplane almost every week, so it's understandable that he's cranky a lot of the time. But it's so much more fun to pick up a happy man than a cranky tired one.
Here's the best thing he did. He just opened his arms and gave me a big old hug when I picked him up at the airport on Friday night, after I'd been driving traffic in the pouring rain, had a fender bender with a limo driver who yelled at me even though he hit me, and then missed the exit.
That's all a girl wants when she picks up her beloved at the airport after a journey like that. That's all a girl wants most of the time come to think of it.
What are you grateful for today?
May your life be filled with the Magic Medicine of gratitude every day.

get lost

Yesterday I went to pick up a book at Oblong Books in Millerton, and then some fruit at McEnroe's Organic Farm Market. I tried a short cut home, through winding back country roads, and ended up getting a bit lost.
It was fun. Sometimes I think I know this area like the back of my hand, and it's refreshing to know I can get turned around and around in circles with one missed turn.
The weekends keep getting shorter and shorter, with Larry needing to catch planes out of LaGuardia and Kennedy airports earlier and earlier in the day on Sunday. But thanks to the rainy weather, spending the day doing laundry isn't quite so annoying. And is always more gratifying when some of that laundry is thrift store booty as it was again this weekend.
I've been on a bit of a spending spree, probably because I've got a new job that feels like a perfect fit. So I feel a kind of safety and security I haven't in a very long time.
I know it's just a feeling, because there's no such thing as security in advertising, or any job these days. But still, I relish the honeymoon phase of starting a new job that feels like a dream job.
It's not so different from the feeling of not knowing exactly where you are, in the sense that there's a dreaminess to it, an outside of reality kind of feel because it's not yet complete familiar, rote and routine.
Of course, that's after the initial moment of panic wears off.
May your day be filled with Magic Medicine of dreamy days.

imagination inspiration

I'm up early this morning, which I love. The past several weeks I've barely been able to tear myself from bed. But this morning I'm up, awake and alive, sipping coffee and delighting in the quiet.
I took a few moments to visit Dan Mack's website. His rustic work is magical and imaginal. I've always wanted to take one of his workshops and need to put that front and center in my intentions. I noticed he has a little bone sculpture very similar to the bone work that I do. And it's always interesting to notice how we feel when we come across something that so closely resembles something we feel is so unique to us. We want to own our ideas, and all the things that we do. MINE MINE MINE we think, but as creatives we have to be open to the idea that there is collective consciousness and lots of overlap. When fiddling around with the same materials it's only natural that one might have similar ideas, solutions, executions.

Let that help us to feel connected, not jealous and confused.
May your day be filled with the Magic Medicine of connection to your artistic dopplegangers.

9/11

Okay. So I may be the only blogger in America that isn't posting about September 11th today. I have to admit, it's not in the forefront of my mind. Unless I happen to walk by a blaring television set (and I note that with sarcasm and irony).
I am thinking it's the birthday of a friend who lives in Isreal, and it's cloudy, and I'm happy to have a new job, and while I know there are so many people out there whose hearts are broken and still breaking... I wish all beings be free of suffering and the causes of suffering.
So I will post a beautiful message given to me this summer in a postcard by urban shaman, Mama Donna Henes, on the anniversary of Hiroshima:
i am feeling a most urgent obligation
not to mention, suggest or even imagine
any but the most positive possibilities.
but only project willful wishful thinking.
i know the world is still turning
so there must be a change for peace.
May your day be filled with the Magic Medicine of peace.

details vs big picture

I was talking with a friend last night, about why some people focus on details and others are big picture focused. She suggested that fear drove people to details. Fear of the bigger picture, and the real problems or issues that seem too much to handle. We were talking about politics but it seemed an apt insight into every day behaviors too.
As human beings we cling to order and solidity. Even if we're free spirits, we need some kind of grounding to feel safe and secure. As I've learned in my Kaizen Muse creativity coaching, our brains are still hardwired as if we were living in caves (funny, I wrote cafes first!) in the wilderness. Our amygdala and cortex are in a constant tug and war between fight/flight and reason. In fact, so much so that the cortex will invent reasons for our instinctive fight/flight responses to everyday occurrences.
So... why details? We distract ourselves by focusing on minutia that doesn't really matter. We turn from the big scary monsters that face us - in politics, relationships, work, dreams, desires - and talk ourselves into thinking that small seemingly manageable details are the real issue at hand.
It's hard to break a habit that's actually biologically programmed. But really, why do some of us get the bigger picture and flee from the details, while others of us can't seem to find our way out of the details?
Do you think this might be evolution at work? Are big picture people one more tiny step away from our animal origins?
May your day be filled with the Magic Medicine of interesting questions to ponder.

Omega Ecstatic Chant

A visual post this week of my weekend at Omega. May your day be filled with Magic Medicine.

Final Countdown

1st to 8th Sept: Ultra-intensive phase.9th Sept: Yes, the "big thing".Where: SingaporeWho: 4 docs from Hosp Taiping.One mission.WE CAN MAKE IT!!

why i love dresses and pants

I just love how a girl can wear dresses, pants or both together these days. And I'm definitely a both kind of girl.
I just love how you can be prissy and frilly and girly to from shoulders to knees, with jeans below. So you can look like a girl, and feel like a girl, but also feel comfortable and casual at the same time.
Flip flops or high heels. Either way, it works.
I'm just excited this morning because I'm wearing a favorite dress layered over jeans and it makes me feel so good.
As a kid, my mother never let me buy what I really wanted to wear. I've been a hippie since the beginning of time, but she liked to dress me in color coordinated outfits that made me feel all squirmy.
Now I get the heebie jeebies if I have something on that's too matchy matchy. My family has always laughed at my way of dressing, particularly my love of long dresses and skirts. Which has caused me self consciousness on occassion. Alright, not on occassion, but just about every time I get dressed, I worry that I'm a Mademoiselle don't. And for those of you who don't know what that is: some of the fashion mags have a column where they take pics on the street of women who are dressed appropriately, and others who aren't. Their faces are blocked out, but oh the horror!
At any rate, I'm always very happy to create a new outfit that works without being too outfitty.
I'm a girl at heart. And always love a dress. Over jeans. With flip flops. Better yet, boots.
May your day be filled with the Magic Medicine of your own unique personal style.

Heartiest Congratulations

Dear all IMU graduates/undergrads,Please join me in wishing heartiest congratulations to our senior, Dr.Lee BS who has just passed her PACES and became a new physician! Same to her batchmate, Dr.Ng KS who passed it earlier on this year. Both of them are currently practising in Hosp Taiping.Two young specialists! What an achievement! (Can you believe that she's only 28 this year..)I'm truly proud

walking weather

Last week I tried walking to work, and have decided to try to do it twice a week weather permitting. It's about an hour door to door, strolling comfortably. It's a perfect way to start and end the work day, and on Tuesdays and Friday's I'm not weighed down by karate gear.
Yesterday, I remembered while walking, that some time ago I had thought I would write about my walks in city and country. I remembered that I'd forgotten to keep it up.
So today, while surfing the online Times, I was delighted to come across a blog that does it far better than I ever could. Reading Necessary Steps, I wondered why some blogs pull me in despite their length, and others don't hold me past the 2nd sentence. Sometimes I suspect it's content. Others, some kind of magic in the language and the rhythm of the words.
At any rate, check out the comments as well. They're almost as good reading as the post.
May your day be filled with the Magic Medicine of walking.

Entropic Selves and the Persistence of Metaphor

Hegel said the ultimate tragedy is not the struggle of an easily recognized good against a clearly loathsome evil. Tragedy, he said, is the battle between two forces, both of which are good, a battle in which only one can win. Nature has woven that struggle into the superorganism.

~Howard Bloom, The Lucifer Principle

Emily Martin illustrates the post-modern tendency to support an image of the human body as a complex, open system where prevailing theories of immunology play into this thermodynamic metaphor. The body becomes just another system interwoven within other, larger systems, each subtly fluctuating and effecting the other. This matrix of inter-related bio-systems appears to obscure the notion of the "enemy" thus subverting the militant metaphor prevalently used to describe the human immune system during the Cold War years. It also appears to subvert the anthropocentric model used to describe health, illness, and immunity where humans either defeat the surge of pathogenic organisms embarking on their body, or they succumb to the "enemy." The open system perspective, however, does not necessarily ensure that the human being lies at the pinnacle of importance when it comes to the value of a subsystem within the global system. In fact, human bodies, as a subsystem are shown to hold no special importance in context to other parts of the system (125). The shift in the metaphor of the human body and the immune system, health and illness, appears to by typical of the "eroding of the identifiable self" in post-modern times (Gergen 7). Diseases like HIV/AIDS and cancer appear to evade scientific attempts at classification, understanding of etiology, as well as signify an internal collapse of the immune system or suggest that the body has turned against itself. The unsettling disease metaphors associated with HIV/AIDS and cancer depict the post-modern condition and the associated symbolic waning of a static, identifiable human condition, or an a priori sense of self. The many anomalies associated with the virus such as, individuals becoming infected and then testing negative for virus and remaining healthy with no subsequent test indicating seropositivity, or the fact that some individuals may be exposed to the virus but not become infected, appear to challenge established positivist notions of health and illness (Martin 128-129).

In the article Signifying the Pandemics: Metaphors of AIDS, Cancer, and Heart Disease, Meira Weiss discusses the cultural construction of these afflictions in relation to Twentieth Century modernist and post-modernist perspectives. Weiss describes, that unlike AIDS and cancer the metaphors associated with heart disease focus on the localized nature of the affliction and its relatively accessible understandings of its causes and courses. Heart disease has a very mechanistic connotation and its victims do not usually harbor the same stigma associated with AIDS and cancer. When asked to describe a patient with heart disease, respondents, comprised of nurses, physicians and students were noted to have illustrated a relatively healthy looking individual that could be viewed as making wrong life choices, but is usually presupposed to be a victim of an unavoidable inherited disease (469). In stark contrast, Weiss notes the response she received in asking individuals to illustrate their metaphors regarding AIDS.

AIDS means loss of self. I see no face, but a skull, with a screaming mouth, like Munch's picture. It reminds me of the pictures of holocaust victims. This is even more apparent in AIDS then it is in cancer. I can see the face, but it is hidden by many arrows all pointing at it (Weiss 466).

In this vivid metaphor one can observe the duality of AIDS as a disease that not only is the breakdown of the 'mechanics' of the immune system, but also a loss of control, a loss or degradation of self that reiterates the post-modern condition. Weiss depicts how individuals may often use metaphor to lessen the impact of the loss associated with AIDS and cancer. For instance, Weiss notes that Ronald Reagan was once asked about his cancer. Reagan replied, "I didn't have cancer. I had something inside of me that had cancer in it and it was removed" (Weiss 461). In this example, Weiss shows how the body insists on localizing a disease process to a particular region that may be either physically or symbolically excised.

Martin's elaboration on HIV/AIDS and associated metaphors truly depict a "war without borders" where the xenophobic-militant metaphor regarding the immune system is no longer applicable. In regards to HIV/AIDS, the lines between "self" and "non-self" become ever so difficult to determine. The notion of the body's triumph over its invading enemies becomes deluded, as one no longer views viruses as inherently 'bad' but rather just adapted to survive under the same processes and pressures of natural selection that governs all subsystems of the global system. In the field of Biotechnology, one observes the manipulation of viruses and their innate qualities and capabilities as being an asset to human disease prevention, treatment, and even aiding in the development of new cures. Disease agents, disarmed of their associated enemy- militia connotation, as well as their pathogenic quality, are often used in potential innovative treatments of diseases like cancer and HIV/AIDS. For example, HIV carries the enzyme for reverse transcription and is able to insert this enzyme into the genome of a healthy eukaryotic cell (host cell). Scientists and geneticists have realized that this perceived harmful characteristic may be used to insert "good"genes or genes that would benefit or combat the ill effects of a particular affliction.

Trends in globalization have facilitated the spread of a flexibility model in regards to the immune system, as well as the facilitated the spread of diseases like AIDS. Martin depicts the co-evolution of disease, disease metaphor, and social metaphor as being one not of coincidence but rather as symbolizing a shift in the prevailing world-view, one that transcends borders and is dictated by the culture of capitalism and the expansion of the world market.

Million Dollar Question

Ya I have a million dollar MCQ here. Choose the best answer:It's 4am. Sleeping time for every normal human. Somehow (I really dunno how), you realized your lips are quite dry. Maybe cracked a little bit. You will:A. Continue to sleep.B. Drink more water.C. Get up from sleep, drive to hospital emergency department and see doctor.D. Call ambulance to come get you to go hospital to see doctor.If you

adventures in veganland

Today at lunch I was reading a Buddhist parable in Soul Food, a compilation by Jack Kornfield and Christina Feldman. It was about a King who loved to hunt. In his passion, he decimated the fields of his subjects, who created a fenced-in hunting ground to protect their farms and forests. In the hunting ground were trapped two herds of deer, each with a King.
Long story short, the Noble Banyan Deer King takes the place of a pregnant deer who has drawn the lot to be the human King's prize one day. Previously the human King has declared the Kings of deers to be spared the bow and arrow. He does not want to fell the Banyon King, but the Banyon King insists that he can not be spared if the rest of the deer remain in fear of their lives. Likewise the birds, and the fish and all animals everywhere. Because of his high regard for the Banyon King, the human King declares all animals, fish, birds and beings safe from the violence of man.
It's a beautiful parable.
And inspired me to forgo the steak and especially the squid at the lovely little Portuguese restaurant I'd stopped in for lunch. So I ordered a simple salad - and traditional kale and potato soup, which turned out to have sausage in it. Then I realized I'd been slathering my bread with butter too.
I'm considering myself a conscious carnivore at the moment. Because I'm attempting to head in the direction of becoming vegan, I am becoming more aware of my unconscious habits and patterns in eating. I don't feel bad about my butter and sausage. I just realize I may have to ask more questions when I order. Ask that butter not be brought to the table, opt for olive oil instead.
I wonder where I'll be with this a year from now? It will be interesting to see. In the meantime, I'll be noting my progress, my questions, my conflicts and challenges, in the interest of living the artfully examined life.
May your day be filled with the Magic Medicine of delicious food, consciously prepared, and consciously eaten.

The Passer-by Phenomenon

Guess passer-by is quite a famous identity in blogging world now. He/she "passes-by" blogs, and leaves a "bomb" comment, that would drive the site owner mad (or near-mad) and started to flame back frantically, so as the site's fellow readers.Interesting phenomenon isn't it.Here are 3 examples that I came across, where site owner, coincidentally, reacted to the "passer-by" in a similar way, by

From the Healing Hearts

I guess no one has any question about Tony Leung is one of the finest actors from HK. Out of so many of his movies, one of my very favourites would be "Healing Hearts", which he played his role as a neurosurgeon. I especially like the beginning part of the movie:"As a doctor,the most regretful thing could be when the one you care for most,has developed illness that,there's nothing you can do

inspiration: dogs

Today, I bring you dog inspiration. I'm on a pet food assignment this week with a big brainstorming meeting tomorrow, so of course I was Googling dog stuff today. And ran across a little something beautiful in the Times. (Be sure to scroll down and watch the Fly by Night video too.)
That got me to thinking about George Rodrigue and his blue dogs.
And then, when I went to visit my new favorite blog The Pioneer Woman, her post today is about a beloved dog gone missing.
It's August, usually the dog days of summer.
And ever since our cat dog Simon had to be put down last May, I've been not so secretly pining for a puppy.
Maybe the universe is trying to tell me something. What do you think?
May your day be filled with the Magic Medicine of the animals that you love.

more - or less - vegan

After a weekend of decidedly unvegan-ism - eggs for breakfast, cheese for lunch, grilled tuna for dinner - I'm back to basics with a vegan breakfast and lunch.
Dinner on Monday nights is sushi after karate. But I'm beginning to rethink tuna too.
Japan and the US are fishing the tuna to extinction. Do I really want to be a part of that? No. Definitely not.
And though salmon are in trouble too, I'm not completely ready to give up my fish love.
I have some questions about being vegan from a philosophical point of view. In truth, all the food that we eat, is in some ways created with the help of a vast array of insects and micro-organisms. Which is why I don't really understand the no honey, no milk/butter thing. Are figs all right, even though their creation is dependent on a particular type of wasp?
May your day be filled with the Magic Medicine of unanswerable questions and pondering the universe.

Affliction, Metaphor, and the Body-Politic

In Flexible Bodies, Emily Martin illustrates the contextual use of metaphor to elucidate models of immunology, the body, illness, and the larger body-politic. She demonstrates the flexibility of these metaphors as agents used to uphold the idyllic social construct of the individual as a system within a larger system. In Part Two, Martin provides a concise historical overview of the malleable metaphors of the human immune system. The immune system is depicted as a castle equipped with fortifications that block the advancing enemy or pathogen. Martin proceeds to show how the metaphor of the immune system evolves along with the concept of the body-politic. She elaborates on the militant/xenophobic narrative that has outer as well as an internal arsenal of specialized white blood cells that identify and "attack" and invading organism. A preoccupation with hygiene and "barrier maintenance" moves aside for an immunity metaphor that portrays the internal mechanisms of the human machine.
Painting by Jacques Fabian Gautier D'Agoty (1717-1785)

The human body is scrutinized during the early-mid twentieth century and checked for efficiency. During the Fordist years, Martin illustrates how the private body entered the public realm. Maintenance and surveillance of the social body became imperative to the "moving assembly line organized for mass production" (30). It appears that during the mid-twentieth century the concept of ego, as illustrated by Sigmund Freud, and put to public relations use by Edward Bernays, provided the necessary component for maintenance of the social body without employing elaborate measures by the state. This mechanism may be referred to as ego nourishment or even narcissism. Checks, balances, and rewards for maintaining the body as a well-functioning unit, include the esteem and envy of others as well as certain societal entitlements. One is encouraged to seek the esteem of others to nourish the ego, which in turn encourages bodily optimization ultimately leading to the attunement of the social and political body. I am reminded of the statement made by R. D. Laing in the Politics of Experience, "What one is supposed to want, to live for, is 'gaining pleasure from the esteem of others.' If not, one is a psychopath" (40).

Martin acknowledges a shift in immunity metaphors that suggest a transition in the social order. She refers to "flexible specialization" as a term used by political economists to describe the change in production during the 1970s. She states, "multinational capital operates in a globally integrated environment: ideally, capital flows unimpeded across all borders, all points are connected by instantaneous communication and products are made as needed for the momentary and continuously changing market" (41). In other words, trends towards globalization requires optimized flexibility. Martin discusses the shift in the metaphor of immunity as slightly departing from the traditional militant/xenophobic model to one that favors homeostatic design and specialized flexibility. Scientific discovery appears to recapitulate the flexibility metaphor used in context to the social body. Or, likewise, the socio-political metaphor may recapitulate scientific discovery. Martin illustrates the scientific discovery of the flexible antibody as portrayed as a "galvanizing moment in the development of immunology" (92). She questions whether the biological model arose as a cause or as a result of the transition in the social body dynamic - from one characterized by specialization to one of a more flexible design (93). Martin illustrates how scientific objectivity is never divorced from socio-political ideology, though it makes painstaking claims at a complete excision. The sterile lab room is still muddied by culture and politics in spite of the elaborate efforts of the scientist.

In The Body's Insistence on Meaning: Metaphor as Presentation and Representation in Illness Experience, author Laurence J. Kirmayer illustrates the importance of language in giving meaning to bodily experience:

The body and its passions are viewed as disruptions to the flow of logical thought, as momentary aberrations or troublesome forms of deviance to be rationalized, contained, and controlled. Yet, in everyday life, bodily experience preempts our rational constructions. Through the pain and suffering that foreshadow its own mortality, the body drives us to seek meaning, to take our words as seriously as our deeds (325).

Kirmayer's statement illustrates that in the liminality of illness, embodied metaphor takes precedence over and in spite of rational biomedical assertions. Martin shows how metaphor shapes the perceptions of the body as inextricably linked to the larger body-politic. Political metaphors, like biological metaphors, forge the human imagination and give the impression of limitless freedom in a terrain that is ideologically pre-determined by language.

Red Bull Drink Increases Risk of Heart Attack?

"Just one can of the popular stimulant energy drink Red Bull can increase the risk of heart attack or stroke, even in young people, Australian medical researchers said on Friday.The caffeine-loaded beverage, popular with university students and adrenaline sport fans to give them "wings", caused the blood to become sticky, a pre-cursor to cardiovascular problems such as stroke.'One hour after they

vegan for a day

I'm so inspired by the small steps of Kaizen, that I'm applying it to all sorts of ideas that I have. I've been toying with the idea of going vegan for some time. It pops in and out of my heart/mind for both spiritual and physical reasons. But it seems like such a big commitment. No dairy, eggs, even honey. Three things I love.
I'm so much less concerned with no meat, no chicken, no fish. I rarely eat meat. And I'd really like to wean myself off chicken and fish. So.
I'm breaking it down into baby steps. Starting with one day a week, and one meal a day. This will be very easy for me. No big deal at all. Yesterday was my first day. And most mornings my breakfast is vegan anyway. On the days it's not, I'll make it a vegan lunch or dinner.
So I got all the way through yesterday then realized this morning that just before bed I ate 3 pieces of chocolate, which must have had milk in it.
Not to mention the sweat, labor and servitude of children. But that's another issue I'm grappling with: the politics of chocolate.
Food is so important to me in so many ways. It can be either so nurturing or so destructive to us.
I try to remember before I eat to say this blessing:
May this food nurture and sustain me in everything I do.
May all beings everywhere be safe happy and free, with enough food to eat and a safe place to sleep.
And thank you to all the beings that brought this food from the earth to my mouth.
Sometimes I say it mid meal, while chewing, but it helps me connect to gratitude and nourishment, and remind me that I'm not eating from a trough.
May your day be filled with the Magic Medicine of nourishing food.

What a GREAT Day!

As I said, good or bad things, they just happen. Anytime, no signs, and most of the time when you least expected it.I had another "special visit" again today. My hospital director suddenly came down to emergency department, wanted to see me and my department head. Apparently it's regarding the incident which the "VIP" was managed here few days back.She looked serious. She asked to trace back the

the science of creativity

There's a great article about creativity in the May issue of Scientific American.
I'm feeling a bit creatively challenged at work this week and found it a great relief to read.
I've also picked up the book, Jump Start Your Brain by Doug Hall at eurekaranch.com.
May your day be filled with the Magic Medicine of new ideas and great reading.

Doctor & Patient (3) - Frustrating Chapter

Case 19 year-old boy complained of mild giddiness.On examination, he's perfectly fine.Doc: "He doesn't really need medication.."Mother: "Huh? No medication? Nothing at all?"Doc: "Hmm..alright..." (planned to give some vitamins)Mother: "But is it ok for him to take medication? He's still small right..."Doc: "That's what i said, no need medication."Mother: "But what if he feel giddy again? At least

bijoux

This week I've been making jewelry. It's one of my first loves. And it's been a while. Too long really.
My friend Helmi showed me how to make this wrapped wire rings, and they're really easy, really fun, and really satisfying.
I love repetitive action and the wrapping is really meditative for me. So is the process of stringing the beads. I don't usually make a plan for color or pattern, and simply allow it to develop in the random act of picking up the beads.
Wearing them is great fun and it's always nice to get compliments on something we've made.
So I have to highly recommend digging out your beads (don't we all have some lurking in the back of a closet somewhere?) or treating yourself to a bead-buying excursion. It's not so serious. It's a lot of fun. And you can do it while you're watching tv - although I prefer it as an alternative to zoning out in front of the tube.
May your day be filled with Magic Medicine.

late summer reverie

Late summer is here, and I feel myself clinging to it emotionally. I just love these hot days and cooler nights, when the cicada hum rises and falls all day and night. There's a stillness in it that speaks to my heart.
It's been a busy summer and though I've spent plenty of time in the hammock, I don't feel like I've had that lazy summer day experience at all. Which got me to thinking about my favorite moments of the summer despite the whirlwind of activity. Here's the beginnings of my list. I invite you to make one too.
1. Discovering the hum of crickets in New York City while walking down the street with my niece and her friend after an evening in Times Square.
2. Taking a skinny dip in the lake at Omega after a quiet peaceful sauna.
3. Getting a massage in back of the Art Hut.
4. Making jewelry with Helmi at the house.
5. Taking a life drawing class and a silk screen class.
6. Savoring a Jacques Torres ice cream sandwich.
Ooohh. I'm just noticing how sense-oriented all of these things are. What are your top summer moments?
May your days be filled with gratitude for the Magic Medicine of every day moments.

080808

Hihi..I'm "magically" back for a post! As I said, I'll blog one post or two if hands are unbearably itchy. Hehe. 080808 is such a special day isn't it? So this special day "exacerbates" my itchy hands, and hence I really feel like writing something today;) Just watched the Olympic opening ceremony..i'm just soooo glad that i didn't miss it. If not that I've purposely changed my shift from evening

time for everything

I prescribe to a way of life I call wild-crafting - living in rhythm with the seasons and what is readily available - so I'm normally not drawn to step by step plans, and all the time management techniques that promise to make life thrum. My rationale is that we're human beings not machines. And while I seek balance, ease and productivity, I'm typically turned off by systems. They seem counter intuitive to me, anti-creative, and way too constricting.
But Jonathan Fields has a great way of translating these techniques into very human, accessible ideas that actually resonate with me, and don't stir up my natural resistance. Take a look at his Monday post and see if there's something in it that works for you.
May your day be filled with the Magic Medicine of the things you most love.

Bodily Transgressions and Post-Modern Magic

The mythical qualities of which we have been speaking are powers or produce power. What appeals most to the imagination is the ease with which the magician achieves his ends. He has the gift of conjuring up more things than any ordinary mortals can dream of. His words, his gestures, his glances, even his thoughts are forces in themselves. His own person emanates influences before which nature and men, spirits and gods must give way.

Marcel Mauss, A General Theory of Magic

In Twice Dead: Organ Transplants and the Reinvention of Death, Margaret Lock discusses the implications behind the establishment of death as an event (specific technical indicator(s) reporting the likelihood of the irreversible cessation of cerebral function) rather than a process, and the procurement of human organs. Lock reveals the socio-political and economic contexts in which the mere acceptance of organ transplants and "brain-death" in North American culture signifies embodied beliefs about nature, culture, the mind/body dichotomy, and even the concept of the soul or "personhood." Lock illustrates in detail the commodification process of the human body and its components, the point when the social duty of the attending physician lies not with his/her patients, but with the market value of that patient's organs and the protracted well-being of the future recipient. Lock points out incongruities that exist when one acknowledges the perfusing body of an individual legally defined as dead. She states, "In stark contrast to the half-hidden, pale, lifeless face of the brain-dead person, the interior of the body is colorful and alive" (20). Such incongruities fuel the debate on death as occurring upon the death of the brain when one can no longer observe death but rather is dependent on machines to state its occurrence. Lock indicates that defining death as an event rather than a process is central to the legality of organ procurement. If death is simply the point when the brain ceases to function, and this cessation is verifiable, then removal of vital organs such as the heart and liver would not be murder, under law.

As we have seen, conceptions of health and illness have been systematically re-worked and negotiated in order to support or resist cultural, social, political, and economic regimes. Lock depicts the contextual reframing of death in order to serve what may be deemed pragmatic and altruistic extensions of science. Defining death as the point when the brain ceases to function, is seemingly characteristic of the mind/body dichotomy that is prevalent in western cultures. To insist that brain-death signifies death of the person and attempting to export this notion into universal biomedical practice is seemingly intrusive and in violation of various familial and cultural milieus. Lock illustrates how the mind/body split associated with western culture recapitulates western philosophy (73). A look into the writings of Rene Descartes, the father of modern philosophy, provides insights as to the genealogy of the mind/body split in biomedicine and western culture as a whole. The following is a statement regarding Descartes theory on the pineal gland as being the seat of the sensus communis or soul. The statement is a succinct reiteration of Descartes's theory involving the pineal gland and the placement of the soul or "personhood" in the brain, by Jean Cousins, a defender of Descartes.

...one may observe a gland, called the pineal gland, which is situated like a centre in the middle of the ventricles, and which is the meeting point of threads coming from the external senses as if from the circumference; and because it is unique, supported by the choroid plexus and permanently inflated by the spirits which have been elaborated, it is only in this gland that the double appearances received by both the eyes and the ears can and must be united: "for there is one sense faculty, and one paramount sense organ." Aristotle was therefore mistaken when he located the common sense in the heart, the Arabs were mistaken when they located it in the anterior part of the brain, and the Metoposcopists were mistaken when they located it in the forehead and its wrinkles (Lockhorst 8).

In the article "The Ambiguity about Death in Japan: an Ethical Implication for organ procurement," author John Robert McConnell III asserts that Japanese religious and philosophical culture is influenced by Shinto, Taoism, Confucianism and Buddhism. He explains the effects that these belief systems have on the social perception of death and organ procurement. For instance, McConnell III illustrates the teachings of Confucianism and Taoism and how such belief structures infer that the "human body is a microcosm of the universe" (323). The integrity of the body after death is then perceived as essential to providing a "resting place for the soul." The notion of "brain death" is easily accepted within a culture that widely distinguishes from the mind and body, where the soul rests in the mind and mans the controls that maneuver the body. Within this mechanistic paradigm, with Judeo-Christian influences, organ procurement is justified as moral and pragmatic.

The rituals associated with death, Lock describes, can be associated with Turnerian liminality in that they represent the transition from one social order to another. The "performance," i.e. funeral procession, marks the transition between one's engagement within the social realm and one's cessation of all engagement. Death, thus, is a social and cultural process as much as it is a biological process or event. Lock takes notice of the protracted liminality of death and states, "the liminal period may commence before biological death sets in. It spans the ambiguous time of biological, spiritual, personal, and social transformations associated with dying and death" (198). The condition of "brain death" creates visual ambiguities that appear to greatly interfere with the necessary rite of passage that allows for the acceptance of one's passing and, further more, the re-establishment of social order, if only minutely. Lock demonstrates the peculiar nature in which North American and European cultures have been able to widely accept brain-death as symbolizing total death. She indicates that is is a typical assumption of the West to associate culture with the "other" and negate the cultural and religious traditions of the West. Lock does not then simply associate the limited acceptance and ambivalence regarding organ procurement and "brain-death" as being a peculiarity among the Japanese or a rejection of modernity by the "other." She asserts that organ procurement measures may provide relief to North American and European sensitivities in that the continuation of life via technology seems to "transcend the 'scandal' of biological death" (206). Lock reiterates Foucault's suggestion that death is perceived as a failure on the part of medical technology (203). This notion appears to portray the tragedy of death as transcending the personal and familial and framing death as a socio-political tragedy as well (203). I am reminded of the example stated in earlier in the book where Lock notes the reluctance of the medical community to disclose limitations in medical technology.

Hoffenberg is still shocked about a photograph showing Philip Blaiberg, the recipient of Haupt's heart, "swimming" at a Cape Town beach several months after surgery. He recalls that Blaiberg was never able to walk independently after surgery. For the photograph he had to be taken down to the water's edge in a wheelchair, carried into the ocean, photographed, and then hauled out again (85).

The quote by Marcel Mauss at the top of the page illustrates the relationship between Mauss's definition of magic and the culture of biomedicine. It appears as though the physician is not unlike a post-modern magician where notions of nature and man, spirits and gods are forced to give way to scientific rationalism and biomedical hegemony.

Dialysis Painting by Elisabeth Frauendorfer, PhD

http://www.magnussa.com/dialysis.JPG

back from hiatus

I disappeared without a word. Ever want to do that? Ever need to?
I sometimes daydream about leaving everything behind and joining the Peace Corps. Selling everything I own and living in a tiny cabin in the woods.
What do you fantasize about when you're overwhelmed, or just in need of a real break from your life?
While you're thinking about that, take a look at this post from blogger, Steve Olsen... and thanks to Ben for posting it on Facebook.

Taking a Break

Alright everyone, hope you all have been enjoying reading my blog and I have something to tell now. In view of something major coming up in Sept (other than my registration), which requires me paying more concentration on it (I'd better do), i'm taking a break (in blogging) till maybe after mid-Sept. Will probably still blog one or two if hands are unbearably itchy hehe.Pls wish me luck on the "

Inspiration

This is Barton Kamen, MD, PhD, professor of pediatrics and pharmacology, as well as chief of the division of pediatric hematology/oncology in Robert Wood Johnson Medical School.

From a classic doctor’s black bag stashed beneath his desk at The Cancer Institute of New Jersey (CINJ), Barton Kamen, MD, PhD, pulls out a couple of magic tricks. Now you see the scarf. Now you don’t. Kamen

HO, MO and Specialist

Case 1Specialist: "HDL and LDL stands for?"HO: "High-density lipoprotein and Low-density lipoprotein."MO: "Highly-desirable lipid and life-destroying lipid."Specialist looked at MO, "Not bad..you're right."Case 2Specialist: "What's idiopathic?"HO: "Means no cause is found."MO: "It's a diagnosis of exclusion, after you've ruled out every other causes."Specialist: "Right, so if you simply use this

Qigong, Biopolitics, and Psychosis

During the early morning, the urban parks in Chinese cities were utilized as "breathing spaces" or places where individuals could practice the healing and social qualities of qigong. The "breathing spaces" of the urban parks mirrored the symbolic "breathing space" that one carves out from the congesting politically-imposed order that manifests itself in all urban cities. Chen discusses the historical context in which post-Mao Zedong China created a high demand for these spaces (physically and spiritually) as a symbolic gesture at restoring individual control over the body as well as the pragmatic need for a system of healing in a time of the growing cost of healthcare. Chen states, "Cultivating qi on an individual basis involves transcending one's everyday thoughts and perceptions to facilitate opening up to a larger cosmological order via breathing" (8). The practice of qigong appears to be a liminal phenomena that is able to achieve a temporary state of transcendence from the imposition of the state while not subverting political notions. The following will attempt to show how, like the practices of Ayurvdeda described in Jean Langford's Fluent Bodies, qigong appears to be a malleable practice that circumvents attempts at essentialization and potential extraction as a viable method of healing. Furthermore, qigong practices, while providing a liminal space for temporary alleviation of the psychopathology of everyday life, do not attempt to subvert the state but rather, at times, appear to align with biopolitical conceptions of health and wellness. Medicalization and the pathologization of qigong deviance are used as instruments of the state to facilitate order and social control.

In Langford's Fluent Bodies, one observes how Ayurveda adapts within the political terrain of post-colonial India, and uses mimetic devices (i.e. parallel institutions) in order to gain political legitimacy as well as negates modernist assumptions of private/public conceptions of medicine, the mapping of medical concepts onto the human body, and the presumption of Ayurvedic practice as a static traditional discourse against the backdrop of scientific dynamism (19). Similar to the malleable practices of Ayruveda, Chen describes the reframing of qigong during various points of Chinese political history. For example, during the Maoist years of Cultural Revolution it was believed that beliefs in mixin or superstition and magic hindered China's progression towards modernization. The divorce of qigong from other related practices such as teyigongneng, was a strategic move that allowed for the continuation of qigong practices during the Cultural Revolution's campaigning against mysticism and spirituality (65). Qigong was able to survive campaigns aimed at destroying traditional practices by reframing itself as a strategy for health. From a biopolitical standpoint, this reframing upheld the ideals of the Maoist nation-state by developing and maintaining strong, able-bodied subjects. The post-revolutionary years, however, marked the transition to a market economy as well as the decline of state services assigned to healthcare. Individuals were pressed to maintain health in order to avoid costly medical services. Citizens were simultaneously discovering new independence through economic agency, as well as the permission to express spirituality and "oneness" with the cosmological order rather than simply with the state. Commercialization and the reframing of qigong as a marketable commodity shortly followed after the Mao Zedong era. Commercial zeal along with spiritual repression appeared to spawn qigong "fever," which in turn, threatened social order thus instigating further governmental involvement with qigong practices. Chen discusses the trend in political lampooning via the means of cartoons in the media (75). Political transgressions imposed on the body included the pathologization of qigong and deviation from qi run rampant.

One can view the taxonomic nature of psychiatry as being instrumental to the pathologization of certain maladaptive behaviors. Maladaption may include any behavior that does not uphold the sentiments and/or contribute to the economic progression of the nation-state. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manuel of mental illness must consistently be reviewed and modified in order to keep up with the changing political, cultural and social terrain in which individuals live. Homosexuality, for instance, was once considered a deviation that required psychiatric treatment. It appears that the emergence of culture-bound syndromes requires a more thorough look at the reification of psychiatry and mental illness in general. Schizophrenia has commonly been linked to spirituality and transcendental experience. The following is the account of a psychotic patient as recorded by Karl Jaspers:

Then came illumination. I fasted and so penetrated into the true nature of my seducers. They were pimps and deceivers of my dear personal self which seemed as much a thing of naught as they. A larger and more comprehensive self emerged and I could abandon the previous personality with its entire entourage. I saw this earlier personality could never enter transcendental realms. I felt as a result a terrible pain, like an annihilating blow, but I was rescued, the demons shriveled, vanished and perished. A new life began for me and from now on I felt different from other people (Laing 95).

The socio-cultural-contextual view of psychosis elucidates the concept of qigong deviation in a non-pathogenic way. R. D. Laing suggests that individuals in society are "pseudo-sane" or not truly sane in that we are living under conditions that promote false consciouses and uphold aquired cultural and social complexes in which individuals must learn to rationalize via the socialization process (35-37). These complexes, such as the industrial-millitary complex may be devastating to inner sensibilities and thus may hinder individual potentialities (36). Laing states:

Having at one and the same time lost our selves and developed the illusion that we are autonomous egos, we are expected to comply by inner consent with external constraints, to an almost unbelievable extent (47).

As mentioned previously, qigong practices provide a liminal space of transcendental healing, temporarily removed from state-imposed control over individual bodies, all while maintaining civil social structure that does not subvert the state apperatus. Constructions of qigong deviance, however, depict the penetration of the state, once again, into the personal lives of individuals. As commercialization of qigong along with spiritual repression of the Mao era promoted a feverish reception of yangsheng, or life cultivating acts, a sense of disorder that threatened state function was imagined and the consequent legitimization of qigong was used as a method of control and surveillance.